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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Modern Art

My mom and I took my niece to her favourite restaurant: Red Robin, for lunch.

She immediately grabbed the crayons on the table and started on a masterpiece:

S "For YOU Aunt Becca!"

me "I LOVE it S! Is this...a kitty"

S: "It's HELLO kitty!"

me: "Oh I see, its a big Hello Kitty and a baby Hello Kitty"

S: "No no! THAT is Hello Kitty...and that is me: dressed as Hello Kitty"

me "I love it! How very meta!"

S: "totally!"

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Princess Pants and A Diet Coke

So a few weeks ago I was brunching with some friends on the Upper West Side when I saw my caller ID light up with my sister's name. She only calls if its important so I excused myself from the group and picked up the call.

It was S on my sis's phone:


me: "Hey s!!!! whats up? Wheres your mom?"

S: "Oh she's watching a movie I just wanted to say HIIII!"

me: "Hi sweetie- what are you up to today?"

S: "I'm wearing my favourite princess pants and drinking a diet coke!:

me: "Sounds like a great Sunday actually- what is your mom watching?"

S; "A Moooovvvvie- youre in it- she says its not you but it is!!!"

(5 min later)

my sis: "hey S hijacked my phone she wanted to talk to you"

me: "haha I loved it- what movie are you watching????"

my sis "Burlesque"

Penis WHAT

Ok so if that was # 3- youre all asking- what is #1....

It's PenisButt- by far without a doubt!

Penis What???

Well S's little brother accidentally kneed her in the crotch and S screamed


naturally her mother asked,

"he hurt your WHAT????"


my sis: "what is that exactly?"

S: "here (pointing to crotch)"

my sis: "You know thats called your vagina, like we talked about, right?"

S: "ummm well its where my brothers penis is, and it looks like a butt, so i'm gonna call it a penis butt"

my sis "lets call it a vagina

S: "nah, I'm gonna go with penis butt"

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"I'm just having a cocktail"

So I have a lot of great conversations with my niece. When I am pulling my hair out at work, or stuck in a subway train because someone inconveniently decided to jump during rushhour (aagh late again), It's little miss S who I picture to bring a smile to my face and drop my blood pressure back to human.

But today's conversation is in my top 3:

Tuesday, September 27, 6:33 pm:

My sister puts S on the phone:


me: "Hi Sweetie!!:

S: "Hi! Hi! Remember when you got married???"

me "Yeah I do -it was last month"

S: "you looked soooo pretttttty:

me "Oh thanks honey!!"

S: "And I looked sooo pretty tooo!!! in my dressssss!"

me "yes you did!!! what are you doing tonight??"

S: "ummmm I'm having a cocktail"

(my sis in the background: " A FRUIT cocktail, S- tell her its a FRUIT cocktail")


S: "its basically pinapples and cherries"

(my sis in the background: "S! Tell her is a FRRUUUUITTTT cocktail")

me "Is this rum or vodka based?"

(my sis in the background: "S!!! Please tell her its fruit in a can!" )

S: "AUNT Becca- its basically fruit in a can"

me "I love you"

S: "I love you to byyyyyye"

I love my Niece!

S is the most incredible creature I know, at 4 years old she is the funniest most sarcastic and dare I say- one of the most fashionable people I know (and I'm a fashion designer in Manhattan)

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I hope her words inspire and enlighten your life as much as they have mine